Steamed Up
by hc.dbz.chickie
Summary: CRACKFIC, drabble. Someone gets bored on an easy mission and writes this. Then they accidentally hand it in to Iruka-sensei instead of their mission report. Oops, he's gonna be pissed! Two-shot. Rating up to T to be safe-suggestive themes and mild language in second part. Not mentioning pairing-or the suspense in part two would be for naught, but it's yaoi-ish.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters. I just love them.

Iruka's like a teapot

He's short and hot

He flies off his handle

He will chew you out

When he gets all steamed up

Hear him shout

You better watch out!


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka stared. And stared. And stared. And—

"What the hell is this?!"

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei, I'm sorry, I—" The shinobi apologising profusely bowed his head, over and over, waving his hands in front of himself as if that would somehow protect him.

Iruka's voice dropped to it's normal volume, as he smiled pleasantly, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

"No, Iruka-sensei, no, no, no, I—" the shinobi backed up a few paces. "I'm sorry, really, I'm—"

"Do you really think that you can talk your way out of this? If so, then I have to say, I think that I have smarter students than you."

"Um, no, Iruka-sensei. I didn't think, I mean . . . . I didn't mean—"

Iruka smiled pleasantly again, folding his hands and lacing his fingers together. Uh-oh. The shinobi backed up further, that was Iruka's _dangerous_ face (one of them at least).

"Did you or did you not write this?"

"Uhhhh . . . . no?"

"No?" Iruka cocked his eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Yes." Iruka unlaced his fingers, placed his hands on the table and got up, leaning towards the other shinobi. "You wrote it."

The shinobi could almost feel sweat dropping down his face. He tugged at his collar. "Is hot, umm, getting you in here?"

"Pardon?" Iruka stood up fully, making his way around to stand beside his desk rather than behind it.

"I mean, um, are you hot finding it in here?" He yanked harder at his collar, backing up further from Iruka and bringing his hands up in between them in a protective waving motion.

Iruka moved forward, seemingly innocent to any outside observer, but any shinobi worth his salt in Konoha knew that was how Iruka stalked his prey (meaning errant jounin and chuunin in the missions office). They _had _to know, otherwise he'd _get_ them. "Now, I'm sure you meant no harm by your little _joke_, right?"

The shinobi nodded. "Of course." (He would _never_ hurt Iruka. Not on _purpose_.)

"You did?" Iruka paused in his advance, cocking his head to the side. His shoulders slumped (because no matter how tough Iruka-sensei is, it hurts to think someone would want to make him feel bad).

The shinobi realised the misunderstanding right away. He shook his head vigorously, as if that would emphasize his point. "NO! No, I didn't mean any harm. I would never—"

Iruka was suddenly right in front of him. The shinobi gulped as Iruka's hand slowly made its way up to his collar, where he dug his fingers in and pulled the shinobi forward, so that their faces were mere inches apart. "Good. Because I would _hate_ to have to punish you, you know. It would set _such_ a bad example for my students if they saw me hanging you from your toenails in the town square in your underwear." He smiled, patting the bulge of fabric he'd been clutching and smoothing it out.

"By my toenails?" The shinobi shivered. "In m-my u-u-underwear?" (Inwardly, he snickered—maybe he should piss off the chuunin more often. The underwear thing sounded promising.) The shinobi openly balked and gasped in semi-mock surprise and incredulity. "Iruka-sensei, you wouldn't!"

"Hm." Iruka made his way back behind the desk. "Where's your real mission report, then?" He held out his hand expectantly.

The soiled mission report was placed in his hand and the shinobi in question disappeared from the room at lightning speed as Iruka got a look at what _used_ to be a decent report and bellowed, "KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

Kakashi snickered and got comfortable in a tree just outside one of the mission room windows. Time for his favourite pass-time: Iruka-sensei watching. It really was an underrated hobby, he decided. After all, he could watch the delectable man explode at other people (it really was funny when it wasn't him) and if he sent out just the right amount of chakra, he could disrupt the papers on the desks, making Iruka bend down to pick them up. When he did that, Kakashi got a good look at his, round, tight, toned as—On second thought, he was glad that no one else knew about his hobby . . . . and if they _did_, well, they just better _not_ get any ideas.

Kakashi spent all afternoon in the tree, thinking he'd never get caught (after all, Iruka-sensei never noticed _him_, except to yell at him for mission reports, which really weren't _that_ bad, if he said so himself). He decided he really should go soon, as Iruka-sensei was off in a little while anyways (no, he was not obsessing—it is perfectly normal to know the work habits of your fellow shinobi), when he was startled out of his thoughts by a throat clearing at the bottom of his tree. Looking down, he was surprised to find Iruka himself standing there.

"Wha—" _I thought he didn't get off for another half an hour?!_

"So." Iruka rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet a couple of times.

"So . . . ." Kakashi glanced around nervously, _Is he still mad about the mission report?_

"I'm actually off early because I didn't take my break," Iruka kept looking up at Kakashi, "Actually, could you come down here? It's rather difficult to speak to you when you're up there and I'm rather tired, so tree-walking doesn't sound all that great right now."

Kakashi glanced around again. _Was this a trap?_

"It's okay, Kakashi-san, I'm not going to do anything to you, I promise." Iruka smiled disarmingly, opening his arms in a peaceful gesture.

Kakashi scampered down the tree as gracefully as possible in his nervous state. He landed in front of Iruka and scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "Ummmm . . . . "

Iruka took a few steps forward, leaning into Kakashi's space. "Uh, Iruka-sensei?"

"So you think I'm hot?" Iruka grinned widely when he noticed Kakashi's deep blush above his mask.

"I-I-I-Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi backed up against the tree as Iruka continued to advance.

"Do you want to do something about it?"

"D-do something, Iruka-sensei?"

"Yes, _do_ something, Kakashi-san. Like join me for dinner, perhaps?"

Kakashi smiled. "I think I would like that, Iruka."

Kakashi followed behind Iruka as he walked off towards the village centre. "Oh, and Kakashi-san?"

"Yes?" Now that he had a date with the fiery Iruka, Kakashi had a bounce in his step.

"I really hope this date goes well, but I meant what I said about punishing you if you continue to hand in that drivel you consider mission reports."

Kakashi gulped. "Of course, sensei." Then he smiled as he hurried to catch up to Iruka, taking his hand in his own. Iruka glanced down at their hands and for a minute Kakashi worried that he'd messed up and Iruka would snatch his hand back. When he didn't Kakashi swung them gently, simply enjoying the moment. For now, Iruka wasn't hopping mad. For now, they were just content with each other's company. Kakashi couldn't be happier.


End file.
